Tiny Betrayals: The Hidden Cost of Playing it Safe

The Betrayal

Last week I met a friend for a drink.
She asked if I wanted to get food.
I said yes.
She suggested seared tuna nachos.
I agreed.

Thing is: I don’t like seared tuna nachos.

I said yes because I didn’t want to be exposed for having “bad taste.”
Because I wanted a burger.
And I didn’t want to want a burger.

Where This Shows Up at Work

These are what I call Tiny Betrayals—
micro-moments of self-abandonment that seem harmless but chip away at our presence.

They show up in everyday choices. At the dinner table.
And… in meetings, pitches, and performance reviews.

At work, they can sound like:
• “I’m good with whatever.”
• Reframing your idea to sound like someone else’s
• Deferring—and never developing your own opinion
• Silencing yourself because your preference feels inconvenient or “too much”

These small adjustments might seem strategic.
But they create distortion.
And when your signal is distorted, your influence weakens.

The Real Insight

You can’t fake alignment.
When your words don’t match your truth, you disappear.
Your presence dims.
Your influence leaks.
And eventually, people stop feeling you—even when you're right there in the room.

We think we’re playing it safe by not choosing.
But what we’re really doing is staying vague—because once you stand for something, you can be seen.
And once you’re seen, you can be judged.

But also?

You can be felt.
And followed.
And trusted.

So flip the script.
Stop betraying.
Start obeying—yourself.

Obey your taste.
Even when you don’t want to want what you want.

That’s your gold.
That’s your power source.
That’s the voice that moves people.

To presence,
Mary

P.S. If you’re looking for support:
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